eyes so big, lips so luscious
by quorra laraex
Summary: She makes him feel alive, almost like a drug. And tonight, he'll dream of her. — Zuko/Katara


**eyes so big, lips so luscious**

* * *

There's something about her that is strikingly extraordinary to him.

When he's with her, things are exhilarating and light-minded and not exactly serene (as if it needed to be)—but _alive_.

He could call it infatuation or some type of interest that led up to more than just inspiration or hell it could even be love, but even Zuko didn't want to take his thoughts that far. He couldn't, anyway. Multiple reasons.

Whatever it is, it's something exceptional and profound. She gives him a different taste, something that consists of everything sour, everything bitter, everything sweet, but never anything dull. Their relationship had always been something tasty and nothing dead on the tongue. It's different. It's different for the both of them, and the two have both acknowledged it at one point or another. For her, it's evident from the beginning, with her mother's necklace. And for him, he notices when he sees Mai and stares into her dark cold gaze, and he finds himself wishing he were looking at large and blue and beautiful periwinkle pools.

It's horrible, but Katara is just _so_ damn addicting, and what's addicting is what's forbidden. And it's exactly why she's so addictive. She's off limits. He craves it, every bit of it. It's every ounce of wrong, and he might have found his destiny as a companion of the avatar, but sometimes it just felt good to be so bad once in awhile.

She's just so different and elegant and complex and patient yet infuriating and punctual and demanding at the same time and just _so _damned—

They balance each other out.

She enrages him more than his own fucking sister has ever been able to, and he still doesn't know why he wants her so much.

The feisty little waterbender is a complicated one. She's irresistible, with her stupid, long brown locks (but she's Aang's girl) and her big, oceanic orbs, (Aang's, remember?) and sun-kissed skin around her luscious lips (the _avatar's_) and whenever he looks at her, he can't look away without his face flushing—yet somewhere deep down in his mind there's a slight recognition that he'll never have her.

_But now_—

He gets her to sit down on the edge of the cliff and he's kind of scared to sit beside her because he knows it's unexpected news for her—and in all honesty, he isn't supposed to do this, but he—

Zuko looks at her with his amber gaze, and she stares into his for a long while and he can tell she senses a peculiar aura. Her hold is electrifying and for some stupid reason it's like he's paralyzed because he can't get the words out of his mouth and his hands from his sides and he begins to feel like that hopeless little boy he used to be after his mother had—

He, it's. He can't. It's, his.

His attention can't help but be diverted.

He's distracted because, well, it's distracting, _fuck_, she's just _too_ much of a damned distraction and he really can't do anything but feel this way because words are a big pain, and he never was good at these things.

For Agni's sake, he needs help.

Her eyes flicker away from him to the ocean below her, and she motions for him to sit beside her so they could admire the small ducks a couple feet down.

He remembers his mother.

He stands a bit longer, admiring her silhouette beneath her apparel against the caramel glaze of a sky before he follows next to her and grabs her hand in his. Today, they don't care—they won't care—they decide that they'll never care, because they're ready to set free. He tells her she's the one.

—

Two years from now he'll realize he's never met a girl like her. And in three years, he'll marry someone else. In the fourth, they'll steal a glance at each other during a feast hosted by her lover, with the same vulnerability they had in the beginning. They'll think _what if _constantly, and the two will know the feelings will never really fade.

In eighteen months, the understanding of his ignorance and the inescapable debt he owed will be reminded, and he'll tell her quits—that he can't do anymore, because he owes the avatar that much. Aang's changed him, in different ways than Katara has—but he's the avatar, the hero—the _superior_, and he deserves the one he's always loved. Zuko will try to make Katara understand what he's willing to sacrifice and for once, he won't be able to look into those sea enveloped eyes because—_well_—

Just.

Because.

She'll push him _physically_, with her actual bare hands and not an ice cold splash of water, and will almost slap him in the face, but he'll be quick to dodge and all she will manage to say is 'shove off'. Yet even in the short pair of words, he'll hear her voice break somewhere in the middle, but he won't want to contemplate exactly where it cracks because it'll only make him feel worse.

The next time they will see each other is at her engagement feast—because her fiancée would be generous enough to have invited him to their celebration, even if _he_ hadn't invited them to his. However, she will not greet him with words, nor will he wave hello.

Their actions always did go hand in hand.

—

Tonight, they'll sleep together—just sleep—nothing sexual, no—pure innocence in sharing a tent, and they won't care for the juvenile remarks, because tonight is the first night they won't have to pretend there's nothing to hide.

His eyes avert from the ducks fiddling on the shallow parts of the water and he looks to his right with a warm smile.

She'll be the first one to fall asleep, and he'll listen to her soft murmur of his name. He'll wake up the earliest, remembering tiny pieces of his dream involving her, a ceremony, his mother, and the avatar. He'll think it's a sign—a warning or a vision, little tads predicting whatever the hell it was, and Zuko will want to tell her everything he recalls, but without energy, he'll fall back into a slumber. And in the morning, he won't care.

* * *

**a/n:** So this is basically just my take on zuko knowing aang deserves better after all he's done for the world and him, personally. So he gives up katara for him, despite how he feels of her. Oh, and if you didn't get it(?) pay attention to tense.

Reviews are looooved!


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